My Favourite Thanksgiving Quotes

Yes, it’s the Thanksgiving long weekend and this Sunday, Canadians will spend an entire day lovingly roasting and basting and carving a turkey for a meal that will be snarfed down in minutes. Here are some of my favourite quotes about the holiday:

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”― Jon Stewart

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ―Kevin James

“Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, ‘How long has Mom been drinking like this?’” –David Letterman

“It wasn’t easy telling my family that I’m gay. I made my carefully worded announcement at Thanksgiving. It was very Norman Rockwell. I said, ‘Mom, would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual?’ She passed it to my father. A terrible scene followed.” –Bob Smith

“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” –Johnny Carson

“We’re having something a little different for Thanksgiving this year. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” ―George Carlin

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” ―Erma Bombeck

“Cooking tip: wrap turkey leftovers in foil and throw them out.”  ―Nicole Hollander

“If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” ―Carl Sagan

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