Oh, to be an editor–the Oovil Snetches.

Ever wonder what literary agents and editors have to deal with? Here are some of my favourite excerpts from submissions made to Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, as compiled by Miss Snark. They’re guaranteed to make you howl, or growl, if you’re an “oovil snetch.” Or perhaps even yodel. (You can find the complete collection here.)

Out of the dark void came what looked like a giant rabbit followed by small rabbits which had looked as if they had undergone a mutation with three ears and 2 tails. They discovered they were on Rabbitania.

***

Weston was known for the firm but genital hold he had on his men. It was one of the reasons he was chosen for this mission over six other equally qualified men.

***

He groped in his trousers and came up with a dirty piece of trash which I thought he’d just throw away.

***

“Oovil snetch,” he growled in his mind.

***

“Do you want to come over and have a gunfight?” I asked. He seemed a bit loath to answer.

***

Instinctively, without thinking about it, he grabbed the woman and hugged her and then gave her breasts a couple of playful pinches. “Commander please,” she said as she blushed and began yodeling.

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